There is nothing worse than taking a bite out of sweet, long classic pickle, only to find discover that it’s not sweet, the damn thing was a dill pickle, and now that’s exactly what you’re in. You see, most times this happens at a party, and you’re surrounded by several people having conversations, laughing, gossiping, telling tall tales to make themselves look/feel better, and here you are with what I’ve termed “The Pickle Face.” It’s instantly killing your teeth, your first reaction is to scrunch up your face and spit it out, but that wouldn’t be the proper thing to do. By now, SOMEONE has glanced in your direction and witnessed the “face” and they’re wondering… is she okay? Or is this party about to get really funny? It’s horrible! It’s on my top 10 list of things NOT ALLOWED in my home. And trust me, it’s right up there with Grand Theft Auto 5. I’m serious. I hate those rotten, deceiving things, disguising themselves as a refreshing sweet pickle, only to stop me in my tracks and force me to make a scene.
So, to any of you having 4th of July parties, or ANY party for that matter, PLEASE, for the love of God, LABLE your pickles!! Sweet/sour. Not hard to do. Now I don’t trust them. I’ll make my boyfriend take a bit first.
And since we’re on the subject of bitter… Have you ever tried those horrid sour patch kids? I tried them once in the store parking lot to humor my son. He was relentless! “Come on mom. Just try one. Here, have a blue one. They aren’t bad.” Like HELL they aren’t! No color is safe! Do not believe them! These sweet little darlings that we believe are completely innocent LOVE to see us suffer. I’m surprised I was able to drive home, my eyes were watering so bad. And being that it was just the two of us, I spit the damn thing out! The bitterness lingers long after the candy is gone. He was belly laughing, it looked like I was crying… I can only imagine what other customers were thinking as they walked passed my car.
Yes, if I could rid my mouth of a particular taste, it would be bitterness. And I didn’t even have to look through the other options. Hands down, no hesitation, no second guessing, bitterness. Ick! My mouth is watering as I type this. My brain certainly remembers the effects.