The one thing I’ve always wanted to do was get married. I did it, but we were young… kids without a clue, going through the motions. Now I want a real marriage. My current boyfriend says it’s nothing more than a piece of paper, and I’ve heard SO many men and woman say the same. To some, maybe that’s all it really is. To me, it’s a promise to the highest power that I will love this man until I die.
*Just for the record, I was not to blame for breaking that promise the first time around. Cheating once is enough to destroy a relationship, but twice, and the second time being with my best friend? Yea… that’s not okay with me. All in all I think it was a total of 3 times, but who wants to go back that far and dredge up all those painful memories? Not me.*
I’ve got a reputation to maintain as a Tomboy, so to publicly admit that I want the dress, the cake, the huge celebration afterwards is a bit intimidating. But along with all of this, I want marriage to mean to my boyfriend what it means to me. We laugh so much together. We connect on a level I’ve never connected with anyone. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows all the time… we have our ups as well as our downs, but we work through it. So until my boyfriend realizes that it’s not just a piece of paper, I’ll sit and wait, continuing to love him, because even without the piece of paper I know I’ll love him to the very end.
I want him to realize the value of me as a person, and understand that when I say “I love you” it’s not just words to appease him. I truly, truly love this man. I want him to realize that there isn’t a single woman out there who will ever love him as much as I do. I want him to think about what his life would be like if I weren’t in it. Would he be sad? Would he be lonely? Or would he fall back into old routines and hang out with all of his single friends? I don’t want him to propose just to make me happy. I want him to propose because he realizes all of the above, and doesn’t want our relationship to end. I want him to propose because he understands and appreciates what love is. I want him to propose because he truly loves me and has no problems making that promise to the highest power.
Sorry to get all sappy on you first thing in the morning, but you prompted me to… literally.