Daily Prompt: Back of the Queue

Back of the Queue

The one thing I’ve always wanted to do was get married. I did it, but we were young… kids without a clue, going through the motions. Now I want a real marriage. My current boyfriend says it’s nothing more than a piece of paper, and I’ve heard SO many men and woman say the same. To some, maybe that’s all it really is. To me, it’s a promise to the highest power that I will love this man until I die.

*Just for the record, I was not to blame for breaking that promise the first time around. Cheating once is enough to destroy a relationship, but twice, and the second time being with my best friend? Yea… that’s not okay with me. All in all I think it was a total of 3 times, but who wants to go back that far and dredge up all those painful memories?  Not me.*

I’ve got a reputation to maintain as a Tomboy, so to publicly admit that I want the dress, the cake, the huge celebration afterwards is a bit intimidating. But along with all of this, I want marriage to mean to my boyfriend what it means to me. We laugh so much together. We connect on a level I’ve never connected with anyone. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows all the time… we have our ups as well as our downs, but we work through it. So until my boyfriend realizes that it’s not just a piece of paper, I’ll sit and wait, continuing to love him, because even without the piece of paper I know I’ll love him to the very end.

I want him to realize the value of me as a person, and understand that when I say “I love you” it’s not just words to appease him.  I truly, truly love this man.  I want him to realize that there isn’t a single woman out there who will ever love him as much as I do.  I want him to think about what his life would be like if I weren’t in it.  Would he be sad?  Would he be lonely?  Or would he fall back into old routines and hang out with all of his single friends?  I don’t want him to propose just to make me happy.  I want him to propose because he realizes all of the above, and doesn’t want our relationship to end.  I want him to propose because he understands and appreciates what love is.  I want him to propose because he truly loves me and has no problems making that promise to the highest power.

Sorry to get all sappy on you first thing in the morning, but you prompted me to… literally.

~Kate

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8 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Back of the Queue

  1. I totally see where you are coming from, My bf does believe in marriage but not the traditional proposals whereas I want that, But I can compromise, Love makes us all do things we wouldnt normally do,

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    • Ahhhhh… the things we do for love. As long as he comes home every night, and he continues to be a gentleman (opening car doors, showing up with flowers just because, treating my son as if he were his own) THIS is true love. We tend to get into habits. Most of the time bad habits. We take certain behaviors for granted, and then grow angry when things change. If we’re satisfied with the love we share, I won’t push the subject of marriage on him, but he knows it’s important to me. If things for some reason don’t work out between the two of us, I am done with dating. Maybe it’s just not in the cards. However, I not so secretly hope he’ll one day have a change of heart and realize that marriage to the right person is just awesome. He was married once before as well as I and both of our marriages ended up in total devastation. I was left to raise a son all by myself; he was left to raise 3 children by himself. Of course marriage left a bad taste in his mouth. I’m hoping that our relationship is sort of like a breath mint. All we do is laugh. I haven’t laughed this much in my entire life as I have over the 11 months I’ve spent with him. Only time will tell…

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  2. It are not being sappy..your words ring true and as a reader I felt it came directly from the heart, I truly wish your boyfriend realises that the institution of marriage is not just a piece of paper but a beautiful world where the both of you grow together..wishing you more laughs and all happiness in life dear!

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    • Thank you. I, too, hope that he comes o this realization. But, in the event he doesn’t, it’s okay. I’m happy with all that I have. I think it’s more my own insecurities to be honest. But thank you again.

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