On rare occasions, (usually when I’m unable to write) I feel as though I’m trapped in my own mind. Thinking of things that stress me out, things that make me question myself, things that literally drive me crazy. I don’t like these times, and today happens to be one off those days. I wasn’t able to write nearly as much as I had intended, because we, as a family had to follow the social norms and go out to celebrate America’s birthday. Now my stomach is as full as my head and I’m somewhat miserable. I don’t know how to credit a photo… I did a Google search and this picture was one of several that appeared. But if you look at the photo below, this is exactly how I feel on days like today. Each strand, a thought that I’m stressing about. Each strand a blog idea. Each strand an electrified wire sending panic signals throughout my entire body.
I don’t like days like today very much. I end up spending way too much time in my head. I’m an introvert. That’s where I spend most of time anyway, but willingly. When I’m not given a choice, it’s a different story. So, of course I’ll slap on a smile and pretend to be enjoying myself, just so I don’t draw attention to myself. Yup… I’m having a blast! As we sit around a table, reminiscing of stories from everyone’s childhood, I’m smiling when prompted, but inside, I’m focused on one or more strands. Anyone else have the same or similar problem? How do we explain to people what we are. How do you even begin to explain an introvert to someone who thrives on publicity and crowds? That more often than not, I enjoy the solitude of my own company without hurting their feelings? I won’t say that being an introvert sucks, because I’ve grown used to it. I will say that it sucks trying to explain yourself to others in a way that they’ll understand… I’m out of the office for the day (which means I’m spending some time in my head). Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you.
Until next time…
~Kate… the 35 year old PROUD introvert.