From as far back as I can remember, I’ve ALWAYS been an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). Sensitive to light, sound, extremely (sometimes overly) observant, and very much tuned into that infamous 6th sense. I was officially diagnosed when I was in my 20’s. I’m now 35. In November, I was pulled from work due to a job related injury sparking back up from 2000. I’ve been home ever since then. The down side…?
Well, every disorder I suffer from has returned with a vengeance. When I was working, those nasty little creatures were kept at bay by routine, and constant interaction with fellow employees and customers. Now, I sit in my apartment, accompanied by my son of course, but there is little routine now that summer vacation has started. In fact, the ONLY routine I have is signing on to WordPress before my eyes are even opened yet. I have literally thrown myself back into writing and I’m loving every minute of it. Do I hope to one day be published (again)? Absolutely. However, I must have an audience. When the idea for my book came to mind, I was extremely excited. How could it NOT be a best seller?! But the more I thought about it, the more I realized… I may not have the audience I once anticipated. Self doubt? Maybe. Reality? More than likely.
So, it is because of WordPress and my constant communication with all of you, that I’m not giving those creatures trying to take over (anxiety, panic, fear, etc.) a chance to do so. In my attempts to establish a routine, I came up with B.A.D., and that in itself has been quite a chore. Now I’ve signed up for 2 more courses; one beginning Monday and the other July 21st. Will I overwhelm myself with the amount of writing expected of me? Most definitely. Will I give up? Absolutely not. Writing is in my DNA. If I’m not writing, it’s because I’m either sick, or I’m away for the day. My son will always come first, but writing’s a close second. I was first published when I was pregnant with him almost 12 years ago. I’ll get back there again. It’s this fear that we all talked about in today’s daily prompt that’s slowing me down. SLOWING ME DOWN…not stopping me. I don’t think I’m actually stoppable. When it comes to writing anyway. I just can’t help buying a new set of pens and/or a new notebook every time I go out. And for what? I now use the laptop! I just LOVE the feel of the new pens, the way they write. And the smell and feel of a notebook, never mind the vibrant color I picked out. I suppose this may have a lot to do with me being an HSP, but I can honestly say, I enjoy this part. When my son goes to the doctor, he gets a lollipop; I get a drug rep pen. Everyone just knows. I’d love to take a picture of my pen collection and share it with you all, but I’ve got boxes of pens, some in storage, some in my bedroom, some in the drawers of our coffee table… they’re everywhere. And if the outside bindings weren’t yellowed with time, I’d never have to buy my son a notebook for the rest of his school AND college years.
So… I suppose this could be considered a rant, but I’d like it to be more of a “Get to know Kate better” post. Maybe I should have included the whole HSP diagnosis in my 5 things… Ah well. I haven’t mastered menus and editing and pages just yet. I’ll leave it as it is for now and once I finally get the hang of WordPress, I’ll have a bunch more. Maybe 15 things or 25… or maybe 50!! Despite the disorders and diagnosis after diagnosis, I really am quite simple and easy to get along with. I love conversation and meeting new people, especially those who share the same passions (writing). So, feel free to jump in, introduce yourself and spark up a conversation. I’m not here to get published (yet), but rather get a knack for blogging and meeting others whom I can have intellectual conversations with about writing.
Okay… I think that’s all. The laundry is almost done, and I’ve got to get my son away from the video games!!!! I hope you all have a great day and weekend ahead!!
Until next time…