If I run too fast I scare Myself

Fearless Fantasies

How would your life be different if you were incapable of feeling fear? Would your life be better or worse than it is now?

 

Every anxiety disorder I have stems back to fear.  So, would my life be different?  Oh, Absolutely!!

Just the thought of not having a panic attack is awesome.  I would no longer fear leaving the house, failure, success, or the worst in every situation.  If I could have one wish, it wouldn’t be an endless amount of money, or a fancy car, or million dollar house.  It’s be to dispose of every last bit of fear residing in my DNA, and taking up residency in my brain.  I would LOVE to write so much more, as this is a HUGE topic of interest for me.  However, the laundry must get done, and my son wants to go swimming today, so I really have no time to write.  And I fear that if I take any more time to write this, I’m going to fall behind on my “to do” list.  So, if there’s one thing everyone should know about me, it’s that I’m afraid of EVERYTHING!!  From lightning storms to grocery shopping; bad people to my own image in the mirror.  You name it, I fear it.  And life would be so much better if I could put an end to all these senseless fears…

 

I would like to further add that there is a vast difference between logical fear (lightning storms) and illogical fears (monsters under the bed).  I can’t tell you how many doctors I’ve seen through the course of my lifetime, but none of them can make an ounce of sense as to why I’m so fearful.  So, I am what I am I guess.  Until someone can make it stop.

Until next time…

~Kate (afraid of her own shadow)

Advertisements

21 thoughts on “If I run too fast I scare Myself

  1. Carry a small notebook and a pen and write in those in-between times when you are waiting for your son or have a moment unclaimed. I read yesterday about a man whose favorite place to write was in the bleachers at his son’s baseball games! I used to go to coffee houses to write. Your own car could be such a place for you…Just do it..Don’t deny the rest of us your own unique view. Have you read purpletoothgrin.wordpress.com? This is what this very busy new mother does and she writes wonderful things…as will you…Judy

    Like

    • I do carry a small notebook with me. I have 3 that I choose from depending on my mood, as they each have a different verse on the cover. The one I’m using now says “We create out tomorrow by what we Dream today.” Inspiring quotes inspire me to write.

      Like

  2. Kate …. One fear at a time. Don’t pressure yourself. Life is frightening. I think you’re effing fearless for putting all this out there! No many could be as open and honest as you…why? Because they fear what others think, that’s the line in the sand between leaders and followers. You my dear are a leader. A circumstance will arise and YOU will match the challenge above and beyond. I know it happened to me. I was thrown into the fearless mode, not a route I recommend, frankly it leaves a lot of clean up, worth it but difficult.

    Like

    • It’s easy to put it all out there when you can hide behind a computer screen. But you’re right. I’ve already faced many challenges… Challenges I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. And I have been victorious in every single one. So, maybe fear doesn’t have the grip on me that I believe it did…

      Like

  3. yeah I know what you mean. I have felt that way before. I had several events growing up where I went and broke down and had to rebuild myself again. In Elementary I cried to my parents begging them not to take me to school, because I was terrified of other kids. I feel like I know something of what you speak of.
    One thing I have found in science is that scientists exposed a mouse to a smell and then had something happen to the mouse so it became afraid irrationally of a certain smell, and then when it had children later- the offspring were afraid of the same smell.
    So one explanation for irrational fears is ancestral memories.

    Like

  4. Naah. If people judge you, just let them do so. It’s not you who’s at fault anyway! They’re not worth your fear.

    And don’t hide. It’s your life. Live it your way. 🙂

    (I myself let people decide what they think of me. Usually, when someone gets me wrong, I don’t even bother to correct them).

    Like

    • I couldn’t agree more! However, I’m 35. I have to change my way of thinking (for the past 35 years). I tell myself and my son on a daily basis “What other people thing of us is none of our business” and “If someone has a problem with us, it’s exactly that… their problem; not ours.” So, I’m on the right track. It’s just a matter of staying here. Thank you for your response!!

      Like

  5. flippyzipflop, I agree it definitely makes it easier. But, even behind a computer screen you open yourself up to feedback from others. Like us. Inspite of this we still post. I celebrate all victories over fear no matter how big, small, overt, or covert etc.. Because it means fear is losing territory in my life. Even if just a little.

    Like

If you can't be kind, be quiet. : ) Have a good day!!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s