I’m trying to think as far back as I can remember, but a popular phrase comes to mind… “Don’t judge me by my past. I don’t live there any more.” So, instead of going way back, I’m going to acknowledge something I did wrong more recently; since I started my journey to self discovery.
The first thing that comes to mind is… wait for it… FAKEBOOK!!! Like most of my friends, I had a Fake-book account. I justified it by using the daily motivational posts I was signed up to receive. However, like most of my girlfriends, I went on a few times to bitch and complain about something my boyfriend did or didn’t do. I was upset. Instead of communicating with my boyfriend, I vented to my “friends” who at that point in time, included some of his family members. Well, never mind all the GOOD things I wrote about him… This is what ultimately almost cost us our relationship. It’s because of the nasty things I was venting about to my Fake-book “friends” (who no longer keep in touch) that he was about ready to walk out. And I can’t say I blame him one bit. Our personal business is exactly that… OURS. Not all of Fake-books. This includes the good times. Those are our precious memories. Not time spent for me to go bragging about. So, I deleted the account on my own (he didn’t tell me I had to) and I’m a much better person for it. Our time spent together is so much more special now; it has so much more value and meaning. And it’s not because “Ha ha you don’t know what we did last night.” It’s because it’s our time together, our memories. Now, we have a trip planned to celebrate our anniversary. Will I share pictures with my family members? Of course I will. But they don’t need to know ALL the details, good or bad.
So, I’m taking this time to recognize just how harmful social media can be. I admit, I was lost in a world where everyone was telling similar stories, and bitching about similar topics. I, in that moment, didn’t realize what it was that I was actually doing. I was slowly killing our bond; our friendship; our relationship. There are no words to express how sorry I was and still am, so I won’t even try. I know in my heart though that what I did, regardless of what Fake-book wants me to believe, was very wrong. I can see the error of my ways, and have since changed them. Things have never been better between us, and I like it this way; therefore, I’m going to keep it this way.
Until next time…