This one’s for the girls…

And I mean it.  It’s a rant about feminine products.  So, dad (and any other man reading this, Please stop here.

I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon.  It concerns a blood vessel in my upper thigh, about 2 inches away from my girl parts.  Well, mother nature has also blessed me with my period!  AWESOME!! 

My skin is too sensitive for tampons, although I have them in an emergency (like today) most of the time I resort to pads.  Well, I bought a package of pads a few days ago, and what the…?  Each individual pad should come with separate instructions.  I’ve never seen so many flaps, so many sticky flaps.  They should label them all and instruct us as to which flap goes where.  Because as I’m on the toilet trying to figure it out, I feel like I’m trying to put together a freaking tent!  What ever happened to the pad that you just peeled the back off of and slapped it in your underwear?  Now we need handles to hold it in place?  What the hell?  It was like a science project before bed last night!  I almost threw the damn thing out and went with a tampon just because I didn’t feel like trying to figure this damn thing out!

I REALLY think a few of us girls should get together and write to the makers of the pad companies (more than likely a man, because I’VE never had a happy period, have you?) and tell them like it is.  We don’t need flaps with sticky tape to hold the original flaps with sticky tape in place.  We need simplicity.  Are you TRYING to test our limits, knowing our mood will be foul, are you taunting us?  DO you need a reminder that the female species can handle much more pain than the male species.  In fact, I just read an article.  The maximum amount of pain a man can/has been able to endure is 2.9 something.  (I forget what measurement they used).  Mid labor, a woman’s pain rate is 6-7.  What the hell does that tell you?  1. That’s why women have he babies.  If men got their periods, Hydrocodone would be over the counter and pads would be covered by their insurance. 

But anyway… that is my rant for the day.  Happy blogging everyone.  I’m sincerely sorry if you read this in its entirety, Dad.  I warned you.  So now you KNOW the mood I’m in.  You better be nice and friendly when I stop by today.  🙂

 

Until next time…

~Kate…miserable and tired of freaking sticky flaps, Kate

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2 thoughts on “This one’s for the girls…

  1. Really, Kate?

    First and foremost, good luck later.

    Now then…

    1. When my daughter posts something on her blog, which includes: Dad, this isn’t for you. Go make a pot of coffee, trim your nose hair, or something – while everyone else reads it. What…the…hell do you think I’m going to do?

    2. You may be too young to remember this. But I recall the animated t.v. commercials for these, when those “flaps” were first introduced. (They made a real big deal out of them, so I figgered they must’ve improved upon chains, harnesses, suspenders, or something.)
    Wings flapping, pads flying through the air – cracked…me…up. To the extent that when the commercial came on, I’d start humming “On the wings of a snowww, white dove…”
    But, you know me.

    3. And it brings to mind the day the family went to Fitzie’s ordination, out at Siena. You were too young to realize that he was becoming “Father Fitz,” and couldn’t have cared less – perfectly understandable. So you sat quietly by yourself on the church pew, busily emptying the contents of your Mother’s purse. The giggles behind us got my attention, I nudged your Mother, and she – a little red in the cheeks – picked up all the “products” that you had neatly lined up on the seat.

    Ahhh…memories.

    Again, good luck. Hope to see you later.

    …X-!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I remember “On the wings of a snow white dove!!” And believe me, Dad, be grateful that you don’t have to put up with the damn wings. 3 Failed attempts before bed last night. I removed the paper, but the wing folded in on itself, sticking to the underside of the pad. I, then fully prepared, put the pad on FIRST, and THEN dealt with the wings. Well, I failed to pull off the initial strip ultimately sticking the thing to my underwear. I finally reached success around midnight, but was cursing the man (because obviously a WOMAN would make a much better product, as WE’RE the one’s having to wear them) who produced this batch. It was the product, NOT the operator!! And you were around mom long enough to know there was never such a thing as a freaking “Happy Period” in our house. Ugh….

      Anyway… heading out soon. I’m thinking if a hospital is in my future, why not Bassett? I can bunk at your house for the night! : ) Either way I’ll see you soon. My appointment is at 1:30. I’m fighting with Ryan to eat right now, so we should be leaving here within the hour.

      Love you!!

      Liked by 1 person

If you can't be kind, be quiet. : ) Have a good day!!

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