I don’t know what today will bring. As I watch the clock, I see that I’ve got 13 minutes until my phone should be ringing. What will the news be? Will it be good? And I can breathe a sigh of relief? Or will it be bad, putting me on auto pilot as I pack an overnight bag, and get my plan in place. I should be writing my book, but there’s too much on my mind. I can’t focus enough to form a sentence that’ll make a bit of sense, so for now the pages remain stacked and the pen is idle. My mind is racing in anticipation. I want to call someone. I want to hear a voice of reassurance, but don’t want to risk the chance that I may miss the call I’m waiting for. My son, who is near reaching puberty, is still asleep. Do I wake him? No. I don’t want to stress him out. When I’m anxious, he senses it. His eye tic is back, so I’ve got to figure out the cause. I’ve asked him what’s on his mind and he says “nothing.” It’s obviously something, but he’s not ready to talk. 6 minutes to go… 6 small minutes to wait. These will be the longest minutes of my life. Time… why do we never to stop to realize how precious time is? Does the caller know how anxious I am? Does the caller have a few calls to make before they call me? Will my 6 minutes turn into a half an hour? Does the caller understand that it is this call that is preventing me from moving from this very spot? Does the caller know that quite a bit rides on this call? Does the caller know that this call has the potential to change my life as I know it? It is now 10:00. The call could come at any moment. I’d be lying if I said I’m not scared to death.
It is now 11:18. The call never came. Seeing how I always try to be positive, I’ll take this as a good sign. No news is good news…right?