Is HE the one?


Mental illness is not a joke!!

With mere hours to go, I am anxiously awaiting to see if I’ve finally found the right doctor for my son.  Not one who wants to put him on medication, turning him into a zombie, but one who will teach him how to cope with anxiety.  I’ve been down that road of being a lab rat to doctor’s and will not allow the same to happen to him.  My son suffers from severe anxiety and depression.  God help the first doctor to recommend any heavy duty meds, as I’ve already made it quite clear.  If we change his surroundings, encourage his positive behaviors and boost his self esteem, I believe he’ll be just fine.  I just hope that this is the one.  He came highly recommended and squeezed us in last minute.  He’ll meet with me and Bill tonight and Ryan next week.  I’m not looking for a diagnosis, but rather someone Ryan feels comfortable talking to.  His current social worker seems to be doing the job, however, she isn’t a doctor.  This man is a child psychiatrist, specializing in spectrum disorders.  Does my son fall into the spectrum category?  I guess we’ll have to wait and see.  I won’t love him any less.  And if he turns out to be the one, he’s quite a hike from our weekly mental health visits.  But, if you haven’t noticed, there are no lengths I won’t go to for my son.  Looking back over the last year, I see a significant improvement in him.  His self confidence is much higher than it once was, and he has little to no problem talking about how he feels or why he feels the way he does.  It’s like a little flower opening up.  He’s opening up and I see that as a huge step forward.  Now Bill is on his way home, where we will together, go visit this doctor and pray that he’s the one.  The one who can help us help my son.  Bill knows I’m a wreck and he has quite a bond with Ryan.  I might be biased because I’m the mom, where Bill can tell the doctor like he sees it.  See?  You do good and good things happen.  Oh Bill… I love you so much, and hate to think of our lives without you in it.  When Ryan found out Bill was getting out early to go with me, he hugged me and cried.  That speaks volumes.

Mental illness is not a joking matter.  I hope all of you sending me the hate mail are all proud of yourselves.  For every name you have called me, you have called Ryan.  It’s okay.  We’ve got broad shoulders; we can handle it, and rest assured, we’ll pray for you all tonight.

PLH5 Always!!


~Kate…one hopeful, optimistic, Kate.


11 thoughts on “Is HE the one?

  1. Good luck, praying that this is the one. Why would anyone be sending hate mail? F&#K ’em!
    I have a son that they put on meds when he was younger and he hated it, we got him off of them but it wasn’t easy. He is now 18 and starting college.


    • The hate mail is from jaded exs’s telling me I’m crazy, a horrible mother, etc. etc. It’s actually gotten to be quite boring, so like I said… into the trash they go. Yes, I’m crazy. I’m not sitting in my parents house, hiding behind a computer screen stalking my ex and leaving hate mail. If THAT’S not crazy, I don’t know what is. And for the record, I got confirmation today that from a professional, that I am one hell of a mother, doing a great job. So, the stalking trolls can kiss my ass. I SO got this. They couldn’t do half of my job and I think the jealousy sends them into some sort of rage. And again, we’ll pray for them tonight. Those, poor lonely souls with little to do with their lives other than stalk and write false things about me. We’ll pray for their happiness.


    • I DID1 I DID!! I do believe this is the PERFECT doctor for my son. And those sending the hate mail can suck it. The doctor told me that I’m doing one hell of a job. You see, I don’t allow my son to play Grand Theft Auto 5 or watch all the Saw movies. Nor do I throw couch cushions at a one year old to “toughen him up.” According to a professional, who has been doing this for YEARS, I am doing everything right! I was starting to wonder; I was doubting myself because I let their words and accusations get inside my head. Well, their hurtful words don’t mean a damn thing to me now. Now I know that I have been doing it right all along. I have never in my life felt so relieved. I finally have someone in the medical field telling me to keep doing what I’m doing, because I’m doing it right. Music to my ears… And he (the doctor) has the utmost respect for Bill, simply for showing up. He said most boyfriends don’t show an interest, and that really upsets him. For Bill to show up? He couldn’t have been more impressed. I can never make Bill feel the way he has made me feel over the last week, but I’m going to die trying.


If you can't be kind, be quiet. : ) Have a good day!!

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