Something’s gotta give…

My mood is good, but I need change.  So, instead of writing, I’ve gone to my mother’s house and retrieved all of my books that I have collected over the years.  Books that inspire me, books that teach me, books that make me feel good.  I’m going to go through them all one by one, and pick out the one that screams at me.  I know it’s in there.  So, maybe I’ll take a day or two off from blogging, and just be in the moment.  I want to enjoy what little time I have left with my son home from school.  I am one mom who will not be doing “The Back To School Happy Dance” this year.  We have made so much progress, I’m afraid that going to school will cause some major regression.  I wish I knew more about home schooling, or not schooling at all and letting my son learn through living.  I hate sending him off to school, like a sheep, because society says that’s what’s best for my son.  Well, unless or until I do my research and find out what exactly I have to do to be able to allow my son to learn the way I want him to, I’ll send him to school with a heavy heart, and write in his journal my intentions.  Maybe one day he’ll forgive me for sending him to such a nasty place.  However, because I’m not educated on what my rights are as his parent, I’m not willing to jeopardize the custody I have of him.  The last thing I need is a social worker telling me I’m neglecting him by keeping him out of school, when all I’d be trying to do is let him learn through hands on experience.  An A in any class doesn’t determine his worth.  Nor does it determine what he’s going to grow up and be interested in.  He’s expressed so many things he wants to do as he gets older.  I just told him the other day… he’s going to be 16 before he knows it.  I’m not going out to buy him his first car.  I may pitch in half, but absolutely refuse to buy it outright for him.  So, now every dollar he has goes right into his savings account.  He knows I’m not joking.  It’s nice to see him being responsible.  It’s funny… his birthday is coming up (October) and he only asked for one thing, which I already got him.  In all the years his father and I have been separated and divorced, no one from his side has ever reached out, sent a card or a present, etc.  I wonder how many Toy’s R US cards my 12 year old is going to receive this year at some point, to make up for missing his birthday.  These people don’t even know my son.  If they did, they’d know that any and all Toys R Us cards are given to my neighbor who has a 3 year old.  So sad…  I even sent all of my contact info to his aunt (his father’s sister) with no response.  Awesome.  Let’s hurt the kids because some of the adults are immature assholes. 

Anyway… I’m going to jump off the computer and go find that book.  Ryan is in good spirits today, so I have little to worry about.  He’s excited to meet the new doctor (as am I) and that’s just awesome.  I think this doctor is going to do wonders for Ryan, as he admitted that he also suffers from extreme anxiety.  So, cross your fingers and keep us in your prayers.  Until next time…

~Kate…one eager for change, Kate.

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15 thoughts on “Something’s gotta give…

  1. Kate, you may want to research whether your state has online education available for your son’s age group. One website I’d look into is onlineschools.com. They don’t appear to be affiliated with any specific school. This one also popped up on a Google search I did: middleschool.net. Might at least be food for thought. Hang in there!

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  2. You have a lot of ideas, constantly playing, and you are a good writer. I empathize with sending your child to school. My cousin home schools. She is a member of a collaborative, and they help each other with the details, paperwork, teaching and expenses. You could look around for a collaborative. Me, I try to get the school to protect my kids. And I hope my kids learn from what they go through. No matter how we raise our kids, we love them. That’s what really matters at the end of the day. Warmly, Brenda

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    • Right now, my hands are tied, as my ex shares custody (this is literally laughable, as they don’t even talk) but he would not approve of me pulling my son out of school, and the court order says my hands are tied. So, unless or until I can get sole custody, I have to send him off to a place where the kids are rotten which I know is a learned behavior (and you wonder why I don’t leave my house). I don’t like myself for putting him through the torture of daily bullying and the stress of being constantly rushed, which he cannot tolerate. So, we’ll get through this school year, and I’ll make sure it’s better than last year. 🙂 Ya know why? Because I’m his mom. That’s what I do.

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  3. You can homeschool if you want under the law that states your right to religious freedom – which is what I did. I had a religious objection to sending my son into the pit of hell where he could be mutilated, abused and harmed. I did it for religious reasons …….. I hate public school ……..

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    • As do I. However, I can’t afford the curriculum and my ex won’t agree and it’ll just be another court battle. And then I’ll get “That’s what the child support’s for.” and that right there might be enough to send me over the edge, as he’s well aware he owes me more now that he’s back to work, but won’t give it to me because he’s hardly a man. Producing kids like candy and not doing his part to help raise them. Awesome…

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      • Sounds like a peach …….. but you can forgive him to get him out of your life …… don’t forget, just forgive. Now. Because he can’t control anything anymore – you are on your way love – all the way!

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      • All in due time. I’ve done everything you told me to do and so far so good. However, like I said, he knows he the child support should be an additional 25 or so a week and has yet to give it to me. He’s a sad boy trapped in a man’s body. I did forgive, but this time he went too far. WAY too far.

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