Bitter sweet goodbyes…

Today I have no choice but to say goodbye to my son as I send him off to public school.  I’ve already gotten so much info, including a Christian school with a tuition I can afford for next year, should this year resemble last year AT ALL.  I’d love to post pics on here, but there are just some people who aren’t deserving of seeing them.  Rest assured, I took about a thousand.  Oh!  And did I forget to mention that Ryan LOVES his new doctor?  I think this is going to work out after all.  He’s a good 45 minutes away, but wants to see Ryan twice a month instead of weekly AND is allowing Ryan to join his Tuesday group where he can meet other kids suffering from anxiety.  He also said that Ryan isn’t on the spectrum at all!!  So for anyone to say he has Aspurger’s syndrome needs to get themselves checked.  The ONLY thing Ryan suffers from is PTSD and abandonment issues, and I have been strongly encouraged to keep the relationship he has with his father as is until the court makes its final decision.  Ryan wants nothing to do with him. And he told the doctor why.  I filed August 6th, and they’re running 8 to 10 weeks behind, so…  Wish me luck.  I’m also going to go ahead and increase the child support as his father is fully aware that it should have gone up as soon as he went back to work, yet made NO attempt to help me buy Ryan’s school supplies, because once again, he chose to take care of his girlfriends offspring over his own son.  And you seriously have to wonder why my son has issues? 

Anyway…  maybe I’ll go file the petition today.  Do something useful with my day.  Get the 17% that Ryan deserves.  For now, I have to go put him on the bus, but to see him excited makes me feel awesome.  I think Bill and I did a great job over the summer, boosting his self esteem.  He’s got this.  Us against the world kiddo!!  I love you more than you’ll ever know.  I HATE sending you back to that place, but I hope you’ll have a better year.  No, I KNOW you’ll have a better year.  I hope you have a great day and I’ll be sitting here anxiously waiting for you to return to tell me all about it!!!  Love you Ryan August!!


7 thoughts on “Bitter sweet goodbyes…

  1. You know, it’s surprising that most dads back out on their children. Like all my dad does is blame my mom for everything- thank god they are divorced now and every one is better off. And it’s just amazing how always it’s the mom who/has to or otherwise sticks by. Thank you for being a great mom to your son. We need more mothers like you.
    I think we all suffer from certain disorders. I think I might even have daddy issues (they are real no?) but no one knows about therapy or doctor in Pakistan so I’m safe hehe
    How old is your son by the way?


    • It’s funny you should say this, because so far, I’ve got 4 certified doctor’s who specialize in treating children with mental illness, the exact same thing. If you ask my ex, EVERYTHING is my fault. The man is 36 years old and can’t have ONE conversation with his son without calling me some kind of name. He thinks I have my son brainwashed. Well, my son told me the other day, “I HATE my dad.” And ya know what I said (because according to my ex, I’m always bashing him)? I said “You can hate the behaviors and the things he says, but you can’t hate him. He’s a human being. He’s entitled to make mistakes just like the rest of us.” But, I’m a monster of a mother. I explained that hate is all his father knows, so how can we hate him for that? We have to teach by example. It’s sad that my son (11 by the way) has to teach his father, but that’s what it’s come down to. Thank you very much for your kind words.


      • It’s always the case. Even my mother tells us not to say anything bad about her dad and all he does is blame her. I’m beginning to think it has something to do with being a man and being unable to accept that they can be wrong. I’m sure with a mother like you your son will turn into a fine gentleman! *hugs*


  2. Wow! I’m sure you’re in a roller coaster of emotions, Kate! I can only imagine how overwhelmed you felt when you see Ryan on his first day of school. Everything’s going to work out right, girl friend! Keep the faith. 😀 ♥


If you can't be kind, be quiet. : ) Have a good day!!

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