From #BethlehemBuffalo to Baltimore MD

During the month of December, 2014, I had a plan in place.  I was enrolled in a program which helped with financial aid to go back to college and finish my degree.  My appointment was on January 15th.  Life had never been better.

January 12th of 2015, I was in a severe car accident, which resulted in the temporary loss of my car.  As of today, my car is STILL in the repair shop.  Yes, that’s correct… One hundred and seven days without a vehicle, and counting.  Over the course of those 107 days, my life has been chaotic, and that’s putting it mildly.  From deaths in the family, to friends giving birth, new doctors, surgeons, lawyers, lawsuits, settlements, school, college, concerns for my son’s health, the ups and downs of a typical relationship…  In a nut shell, my life has been anything BUT quiet.

The one thing that has remained consistent over the course of these 107 days, is the nightly news.  Every night, there is at least one breaking news story aimed at defaming a police department, be it local or across the nation.  Having gone to college for criminal justice, I hope you can understand that this literally makes me sick.  Yes, writing is ONE passion of mine, but criminal justice has always been in the forefront.  It disgusts me to hear such things about our police officers, but what’s worse is that sometimes these nasty things are true.

A few days ago, my local police department was being slammed on social media for being a bunch of savage murderers with a license to kill.  What happened was, a herd of bison escaped from a farm a few counties away.  Those bison made their way from the farm, through a couple of counties, across the Hudson river, into our county.  The local and state police tracked the herd for 8 hours, making sure the public was safe.  These were wild bison, charging anyone or anything that got close to them.  Once the afternoon had begun, and the school was beginning to dismiss students, it was ultimately decided that the bison were a threat to public safety.  They were shot and killed.  Well, OMG!  Those bastards!!  Why couldn’t they coax a herd of 15 wild bison onto a heavy duty trailer and haul them to safety?  I’m sure if they knew there were cookies involved, these wild, angry, 1,100lb beasts would’ve fully complied.  Anyway… as I was scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook, I couldn’t believe the names our officers were being called.  Instead of a “Thanks for keeping us all safe” there were way too many UNEDUCATED people criticizing the same organization that keeps them safe, day after day.  Now, had the police not acted when they did, the wild bison would have eventually killed a citizen and then they’d be bashed for NOT killing the animals right from the start.  Police officers have an extremely difficult job to do.  Add to that, the fact that they have to please numerous different opinionated people. I don’t envy police officers today…  They definitely don’t have it easy.

While attending community college, I learned that despite my good intentions (and those of every other individual interested in law enforcement), our criminal justice system is far too corrupt.  It’s been said that one person can make all the difference.  I don’t believe that’s true in this case.  My opinion?   It has to be a collaborate, nationwide effort involving colleges, police departments, correctional facilities, counselors, court systems and congress to name just a few. BUT… this is where I come in.  Someone has to get the ball rolling, correct?  Even if I’m not a part of the reconstruction process, I can certainly get the right people involved who can get things off the ground. We have to start somewhere!!  Education has to be a priority.  If Obama can mandate health insurance (with good intentions of course) why not mandate education?  Perhaps if that were the case, we wouldn’t have a city like Baltimore burning itself to the ground.  What exactly are they going to gain by destroying their city and killing off their police department?  Well, they haven’t thought that far ahead because they aren’t educated to do so!!  They’re angry, and maybe rightly so, but what the hell is all of this violence going to get them?  And although I haven’t read or heard the quote directly (yet), it certainly doesn’t help to have a mayor encouraging such ignorant, barbaric behavior!

I don’t know all the details/facts pertaining to Baltimore, but… did the officer(s) know that there was a history of mental illness, or health conditions?  Probably not.  So, let’s start by educating officers AND the general public. Once that’s established, why not actually TRY to reform and rehabilitate prisoners?  Why in this day and age is it so difficult to weed out the good from the bad?  Well, because everyone has rights.  If someone feels their rights have been violated, they file a lawsuit, clogging up our judicial systems even further.

I think Obama was absolutely right about one thing… It’s time for some serious change in this great nation.  Now we just have to start making those changes. Who’s game?

Future

Peace, love and happiness ALWAYS,

~Kate

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A day devoted to writing…

…but not on here.  So guys (and girls).  I’ve begun a new project and it turns out it’s become more therapeutic than I imagined.  I have the idea of writing a book.  It was originally going to be a positive, inspirational book.  Now, I’ve come up with a new concept.  raising awareness.  I wrote quite a bit yesterday and spent the evening wrapped in my boyfriends arms, as he allowed me to cry myself to sleep.  You see, NO ONE knows me.  No one knows my daily struggles or what it’s like to be in my head for so much as an hour.  If I can raise awareness, sign me up!  So, you all have a great day.  I’ll be on the flip side, writing what’s in my heart.

PLH4 Always!!

~Kate

What’s REALLY important?

In a world where we have the potential to be at peace, love thy neighbor and do good, I woke up this morning hearing about this ISIS group.  Then I learned that Al Quida has distanced themselves because ISIS is far too violent for them?!  Who are these people?  Where did they come from?  Who’s funding their operation and allowing them to grow?  And how many of you will I lose when they decide it’s time to attack?  I don’t watch the news (because it’s too negative) so any info you can share with me would be greatly appreciated.

So, your rent is late, or you can’t pay a bill.  Your car’s acting up and you feel the need to curse out your mechanic because you were just there last week.  You don’t have enough money to pay for school supplies for your kids, or in my case, new clothes.  Does all of this REALLY matter when we’ve got psychopaths leaking into our country with the sole purpose of killing innocent people just to plant their flag at the White House?  I’d like to say I’m speechless, but I’m not.  It’s just that my thoughts are racing and I can’t slow them down long enough to grasp a thought that makes sense.  All I keep thinking about is getting a passport and getting the hell out of here!!

As always, I wish you all nothing but peace, love and happiness.  Life is too short, and at the end of the day, please make sure your loved ones know they are loved, as we don’t really know what tomorrow will bring.  A group of psychopaths, killing for the sake of …?  Killing. Senseless killing.  It HAS to stop!!!  Please…

~Kate…a truly grateful, praying for an end to this ISIS group and PEACE, Kate.

My B.A.D. A Thought for Tuesday

I can’t deny it.  The death of Robin WIlliams has been on my mind all day.  Not because he’s a celebrity, and because it’s the newest juicy story, but rather because he was a human being.  I don’t know the lifestyle he lived.  I imagine, with his success, it was one of luxury, but some of us know that money isn’t everything.  It makes me sad to know how many people are walking around this earth, with the exact same feelings he was harboring.  No matter how famous you are, or how much money you have, depression sets in and you’re alone.  No one gets you.  No one understands.  You’re fighting a constant battle in your head that no one else can see.  You try to vocalize it; find words to explain the pain you’re in.  Imagine the answers Robin might have gotten from doctor’s. “You’re Robin Williams!  What could you possibly have to be depressed about?!”  Did no one hear his cries for help?  Thoughts of suicide don’t normally happen over night.  It’s a long road, with a big “Dead End” sign at the end.  Now, the world has lost an amazing artist, and for what?  Because we have lost our sense of compassion.  I cannot fault those closest to him, as he was an actor, and probably put up a good front for them, leaving them in the dark.  If only…  If only he opened up.  If only he volunteered for mental illness awareness as well as the food shelters.  Perhaps I’d have something different to write about today.  But it kills me…  How many people have to commit suicide before SOMEONE will start taking mental illness seriously?!  Continue reading

Mental Illness

I tried to re-blog a post from http://takingthemaskoff.com/ but it’s not allowing me to.  I was diagnosed at 18 years old as being mentally ill.  Then, at 30 something with another slew of disorders.  Along with this, I was diagnosed as an HSP.  Being HSP, my body is extremely sensitive to ANYTHING I put in it.  I’m allergic to Benadryl!  It’s easier to tell you what I’m NOT allergic to.  Anyway, I was a lab rat for doctors and pharmaceutical companies for years!  When one med stopped working, they’d add on another.  I reached a point where I had had enough and began to slowly wean myself off of EVERYTHING (except Xanax, as it’s the only thing that gets me through a severe anxiety attack).  I no longer feel “mentally ill” but rather an individual.  My mind doesn’t work like everyone else’s, because I am not a sheep.  I refuse to be a sheep.  I am teaching my son how not to be a sheep.  Being a sheep is the cowards way!  It’s safe and secure and comfy and cozy.  And TOTALLY not for us.  Why blend in when you were born to stand out?  We (my son and I) were born to stand out, not to lead a heard of sheep.  After we get through an incident of breaking the confines of conformity, I have heard my son say “Bahhhh” under his breath.  It’s similar to f-off, and I should probably scold him for it, but all I can do is smile.  It’s my job to teach him.  His “Bahhh” means that he’s paying attention to what I teach him; he listens and absorbs.  I smile because I’m proud.  HE will grow to be educated not medicated.  I would highly recommend you all take a look at this blog post and let the education begin.

I’m not here to start a war.  There are some people that NEED medication and I will not dispute that.  However, there are so many people (including children) who are medicated simply for profit, or because parents don’t know how to deal with the traumatic events that caused their children to be in distress.  Let’s turn these people into zombies so we don’t have to deal with them any more.  That no longer flies with me.  Because my doctors prescribed so many different medications for me, I have been called a pill popper, crazy, mentally ill and a drug addict, just to name a few.  All because I trusted my doctors.  Not any more…  And I will not allow the same thing to happen to my son.  When I read that blog to my son, his response was “Don’t worry mom.  I’m a lion.  Lion eat sheep.”  I have all the confidence in the world that my son is going to go places.  He is going to soar in life.  Whatever he decides to do, he’s going to excel at.  He’s embracing his individuality and I LOVE IT!!!

PLH4

~Kate…a mom who refuses to medicate her child because she can’t handle him, Kate.

What Gratitude looks like

A simple thanks?  Not in my book.  Sure it’s nice to hear, but I think the term “thank you” has become so over-used that it doesn’t hold much value any more.  Do I say thank you?  Everyday!  However, I know the sincerity behind each every one.  I give thinks for my blessings, and give thanks for kind gestures.  I also give thanks for all the material possessions taking up all the space in my apartment.  So, gratitude is far deeper in my opinion, than a simple thanks.  If someone holds a door for me, yes, I say thank you.  At the end of the night, as I lie awake counting my blessings, I’m more than likely going to include that persons efforts in my blessings. Gratitude is being thankful; truly thankful.  And in many cases, we have to change our perceptions.  Instead of seeing things as a curse, and being miserable for a day, look at it as a chance to start over, to start fresh.  Maybe you were on the wrong path, and this “mess” has lead you to where you are supposed to be. Today I can’t tell you how much I have to be grateful for, as I would be here all  night.  But I met a new blogger whom happens to be very inspiring, my boyfriend made it home safely from work, my son was outside just being a kid having fun, I got to spend the day doing what I LOVE to do.  I also reconnected with a girlfriend and am going to do my best to get her out of a miserable situation and onto a much better, happier path.  A family member of mine happens to be in a pickle.  I cannot “fix” the situation, but I can offer support, and suggestions, but ultimately, the test is for them to pass, not me.  I guess the whole point of this blog is to raise awareness to gratitude.  We take so much in life for granted.  Take a look around you.  Could things be far worse than they are in this moment?  Odds are, the answer is yes.  So, be thankful that they aren’t.  Could things be better?  Well, do something about it to make things better.  Even if doing so simply requires a change in your perception.  Look at all of your material possessions.  Now imagine them all gone.  We have a tendency to appreciate the newness of material things, but after the newness wears off, we barely notice their existence.  So, if you have a roof over your head, be grateful.  If you have a bed to sleep in, be grateful.  If you have food to eat, be grateful.  There are so may people who have far less than we do, and yet they manage to be grateful.  I just wanted to let you all know how very grateful I am for you all.  All of your kind comments, and your sincere advice, your friendships and your  constant encouragement… it means more to me than you’ll ever know.  Tonight, I am grateful for YOU.  If you are reading this, I am grateful that I have met you.  If I’m following you on here, it’s because you’ve somehow managed to inspire me in some way.  Instead of spending this time complaining about all that’s not right with my life, I want to give thanks to all that IS right, and odds are, YOU play an important role.  So, a sincere thanks to all of you.

I hope something in this post resonates with you and are able to be grateful for all that you have.  Have a good night fellow bloggers.

PLH4

~Kate…an extremely blessed, and grateful Kate.